rebellious me

So, as I have told you before (if you could still remember), I am about to finish my course. I just have 27 units now and that’s pretty convenient for a busybody like me. I have ample time doing things elusive to me before.
There is the study of the life and works of our national hero, Jose Rizal; I don’t know if he rings a bell to you. Another is about social dimensions. Basico Español is a blast. But, most of them are in line with my concentration, ENGLISH. Needless to say, literature and grammar bombard us. Well, it’s not a burden for me. Actually, I am enjoying it ( I think, more than any one else).

There’s one (as the nature of life and human dictate) that outshines the rest, Creative Writing. It’s a coffee too strong to be ignored and its intoxicating my colleagues; they are getting addicted to it, even to our professor.

Honestly, I am confuzzled (confuse and puzzled) with how I am reacting to it.

I am suppose to be the most erratic being because at last, I am under the tutelage of a true blooded writer. He speaks with such deepness and mystery. He can capture any one (no exemption) with his poignant words, candidness, and sightly face. But, as everyone is mesmerized by his presence, I looked at him with cold eyes. It’s not him. It’s how he handles us, me. He talks to much. Though the atmosphere is welcoming and amicable; I am just out in nowhere when he starts the lesson.

What I disdain the most is when he let us share our thoughts (and you can’t say no when he points you). For me (and i think, it’s solely me), it’s just invasive. I don’t know. I am learning a lot from him, from my classmates. I am even thankful that he was able to inspire my fellas to write, to take that leap of faith in discovering the suppressed poet within them. But, I hate all the dramas. The intimacy is suffocating. Every revelation seems to be heavier than the former and it’s taking its effect on me.

SIGH. Errr…I really want to drop this subject. It’s making me overthink things. But, why? Why is there animosity between us?

perhaps...

?

As a typical homo sapien, my mind is filled up with questions. Some are those you can think of everyday. Like, what color of dress shall I put on? Or, will I eat a bread or two pieces of bread?

But, as I grow old, the more simpler my thoughts become. Yet, surprisingly, the bigger questions float within. One would be, Love. What is it?
And so far, this is the best answer I have found:

2000 years ago, He died for you and me. Beat that.

He longs for your company

It may sound so simple…perhaps, because it is so. Not by human’s strength or might but by His can someone truly serve God.
His grace will work if you will go beyond what you usually do and try treading outside your comfort zone.
Lord, may you be glorified with my little service.

Now, it’s my turn…

O, yes! Just a semester shy and my college days are over. For now, it is vacation time. Classes will resume on the 7^th of November. That means, I have two weeks free of academic-related stress and pressure-to-cope-up-with-the-fast-paced-world syndrome.

But how to spend my 14 days is still a mystery to me.

Well, I jog.  Every evening, I spend an hour and a half sweating. My prayer life is also flourishing like the flowers in Wonderland. I spend more quality time with my Maker. Then, I watch movies. I just finished Despicable Me and The Blind Side. (I know it’s pretty late to watch them, but who cares if I do?) Also, I have a tutorial class to Sato, a Jap whose eagerness to learn English is undeniably stirring.

But how to spend my 14 days is still a mystery to me. O, did I say that already?  Such error is caused by my hunger to try something new. Really, really, really something new for Him. I want to challenge myself in serving my God. Sounds cheesy or absurd? Anyhow, that is not how I see it.

For the past days, He has blessed me abundantly in ways far than I could ever imagine. His protection and provision are unfailing. His love is simply compelling. He has always been like that since I accepted Him as my Savior but only now do I give much care to His affection.

Have you experienced pure peace when everything was falling out of place? Have you smiled and remained quiet when a stranger spilled his drink to your satin white dress? Have you tried sleeping soundly though knowing that tomorrow, problems still exist?

That is how my God works. He finds every obstacle an opportunity for me to see His glory. The darker it is, the brighter He shines. No matter how chaotic the day would be, a whisper of prayer to Him shall calm the rage within. He is alive. He is true. Nothing can escape from His loving arms, not even a rebellious child like me. Since His plans are not based on what we do, His faithfulness can be trusted, His mercy cannot be doubted.

My prayers are for Him to use me now, to give me mountains, to put a thorn in my flesh. If I am asking for too much, it is because I know my God is big. He is able to do all things (no exemption); just all things.

 

You are a MASTERPIECE!

Yesterday, I have read a note of my friend (in FB). Though there are points of it that I don’t totally agree, still, it is so poignant that I know you have to read it.

You are a MASTERPIECE by Therese Boyles

A plum once said, just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.

 Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Never stop down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest glory – your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you the way you are, is not your world.

 There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king / queen by just being yourself. Find that world… in fact, that world will find you.

 What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot. The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity of the tree enables it to stay rooted. Everything and everybody has been designed with a proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that we can fulfill only by being our unique self. You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose. You are here to be you… just you.

There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and he was sent; a time when a Christ was required and he was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent; There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be. Don’t miss yourself and let the world not miss you.

 In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinite of time to come, there will be no one like you. Existence should have loved you so much that it broke the mould after making you, so that another of your kind will never get repeated. You are original. You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece… your Master’s piece. Celebrate your Uniqueness.

it says it all

My sweet sojourn is about to end. O, its an understatement to say I’LL MISS THIS; the place, the people, the simplicity of life, the sweaty nights, the tiring days after teaching. Yet, I have no regrets for I have given all. And the whole experience is a microcosm of life; everything ends but its memories are eternal.

Living. Loving. Learning.

learning what was never taught

I could do less than agree...

As one grows old, he/she sees more than what is there. Even the smallest details of life -the tiny sands, the empty chair, the scavengers, the last penny, the sunset- convey a message…it whispers something that (sometimes) no one else understands but you.

LIFE is beautiful beyond its imperfections, boundaries, and pains.

Wait and See

wait..just wait.

The Father above is blessing me more than I deserve. I can’t question His love..not now! Never! His arms aren’t short to catch me all the time even if He has no reason to love me anymore. Yet, this wicked-hearted child can’t help but long for something more….and He whisphers: My child, wait.

Desideratum

what else could we desire, but to know where we are heading..

My teaching experience gets better each day. Just loving its sugar and spice. I think, I’m learning than my students.Their everyday struggles and joy remind of Henry David Thoreau’s words: Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something...and for someone.

Why be born?

When I was a lot younger, I used to bug myself with this questions: Why live? What am I here for?

teacher’s existence